Why Self-regulation Is Important for Young Children

There has been a lot of buzz lately around the topic of self-regulation. But what exactly does it mean?

When thinking about young children, self-regulation refers to the ability to:

  • Be calm and alert enough to take in new information and take part in the activities or interactions around them 
    Every child is different. Some children are naturally calmer and some may become overwhelmed more easily. In the same way, some children may be more or less alert and attentive. And this can vary from situation to situation. For example, a child who is fatigued or stressed at the end of the day may not be calm enough to follow his parents’ directions when getting ready for bed, but may have done well following the routines of his school day. 

    Some children may feel overwhelmed in a busy grocery store and start to cry as soon as you enter. Other children might seem bored during quieter activities like story time. They might seem distracted and it could be difficult to get their attention. Think about when you learned best. It was likely when you were calm, interested and engaged.
  • Recover from stressors (i.e. anything that disrupts calm and affects participation)
    For some children, a stressor might be the sights and sounds they experience walking along a busy sidewalk. It could be feeling hungry, tired, emotional or just being denied something they’ve been thinking about all day. Imagine a child who has just been told they couldn’t have something they want. Some children may become inconsolable and other children might become upset but are able to quickly return to being calm and alert by managing their thoughts and emotions.

Why Is Self-Regulation Important?

Self-regulation is a key building block for nearly every aspect of a child’s development, learning and growth, including:

  • Language learning
  • School success
  • Attention and problem-solving skills
  • Overall mental and physical health

What Might Affect Your Child's Ability To Self-Regulate?

There are many different things that could make it easier or more difficult for your child to self-regulate. As parents, you know your children best and can recognize when there is a shift in how well they are responding and participating. Think of what works to help them move to a more calm and alert place.

You might consider:

  • Your child’s biological make-up and unique temperament – Some children naturally become more agitated than others by certain experiences, and this affects how they respond to their environment. Some children can become over-stimulated in new situations with new people and may benefit from extra time to warm up. Some children may only tolerate one change or new element at a time. Other children need more stimulation in order to become alert enough to respond or participate in a given situation. For example, they may need to move around in order to stay engaged in a book activity.
  • Your child’s environment –The environment can have a big impact on your child’s self-regulation. It is important to consider the space you are in. For example, is there anything in the space that could be distracting or overwhelming to your child, making it hard for him to focus?
  • The way you interact with your child – Interactions that support self-regulation are those in which the adult does two things:
    1. “Tunes in” to the child’s cues, including signs of difficulty with regulation – For example, you might notice if your child is responding in the way you expected him to, or if he’s over-reacting or under-reacting to a particular situation.
    2. Responds with appropriate support – For example, a child that is over-stimulated and agitated may benefit from interacting with an adult who can model a quieter voice and calmer movements. On the other hand, an adult could support a child who is not paying attention by adding more movement or intonation to their voice.

Interactions in which your child is meaningfully engaged can help maintain regulation. We can do this by following the child’s lead and responding to their ideas and communication. By taking the time to observe, listen and respond to their ideas, you’ll make it more likely that your child will stay motivated, calmly engaged and attentive.

References

Aro, T. Laakso, M. Maatta, S., Tolvanen, A. & Poikkeus, A. (2014). Associations between toddler-age communication and kindergarten-age self-regulatory skills. Journal of speech, Language, and Hearing Research, doi: 10.1044/2014_JSLKH-L-12-0411.

Gulsrud, A. C., Jahromi, L.B. & Kasari, C. (2010). The co-regulation of emotions between mothers and their children with autism. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 40, 227-237.

Hamoudi, A., Murray, D.W., Sorensen, L., Fontaine, A. (2015): Self-Regulation and Toxic Stress: A Review of Ecological, Biological, and Developmental Studies of Self-Regulation and Stress. OPRE Report # 2015-30, February, 2015: https://www.acf.hhs.gov/opre/resource/self-regulation-and-toxic-stress-a-review-of-ecological-biological-and-developmental-studies-of-self-regulation-and-stress.
Laurent, A.C., Gorman, K. (2018). Development of emotion self-regulation among young children with autism spectrum disorders: The role of parents. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 48 1249-1260.

McClelland, M.M., Cameron, C.E., Connor, C.M., Farris, C.L., Jewekes, A.M. & Morrison, F.J. (200&). Links between behavioural regulation and preschoolers’ literacy, vocabulary, and math skills. Developmental Psychology, 43, 947-959.

Murray, D.W., Rosanbalm, K., Christopoulos, C., Hamoudi, A. (2015). Self-Regulation and Toxic Stress: Foundations for Understanding Self-Regulation from an Applied Developmental Perspective. OPRE Report # 2015-21, January, 2015: https://www.acf.hhs.gov/opre/resource/self-regulation-and-toxic-stress-foundations-for-understanding-self-regulation-from-an-applied-developmental-perspective.

Murray, D.W., Rosanbalm, K., Christopoulos, C. (2016). Self-Regulation and Toxic Stress: A Comprehensive Review of Self-Regulation Interventions from Birth Through Young Adulthood. OPRE Report # 2016-34, February, 2016: https://www.acf.hhs.gov/opre/resource/self-regulation-and-toxic-stress-report-3.

Murray, D.W. Rosanbalm, K., Christopoulos, C. (2016). Self-Regulation and Toxic Stress: Implications for Programs and Practice. OPRE Report # 2015-97, November 2016: https://www.acf.hhs.gov/opre/resource/self-regulation-and-toxic-stress-implications-for-programs-and-practice.
Ontario Ministry of Education. (2011). The Full-Day Early Learning-Kindergarten Program, Draft Version. Toronto: Author.

Ontario Ministry of Education. (2014c). How does learning happen? Ontario’s pedagogy for the early years: A resource about learning through relationships for those who work with young children and their families. Toronto: Author.

Schmitt, M.B., Justice, L.M., & O’Connell, A. (2014). Vocabulary gain among children with language disorders: Contributions of children’s behavior regulation and emotionally-supportive environments. American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology, doi: 10.1044/2014_AJSLP-12-0148.

Shanker, S. (2013). Calm, Alert and Learning. Toronto, ON: Pearson Canada Inc.

Shanker, S. (2016) Self-Reg: How to help your child (and you) break the stress cycle and successfully engage with life. Toronto, ON: Penguin Random House Canada Limited.

Sussman, F. (2012). More Than Words: A Parent’s Guide to Building Interaction and Language Skills for Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder or Social Communication Difficulties. Toronto: The Hanen Centre.

Weitzman, E. (2017). It Takes Two To Talk®: A practical guide for parents of children with language delays (5th ed.). Toronto: The Hanen Centre.

Weitzman, E., & Greenberg, J. (2002). Learning Language and Loving It: A guide to promoting children’s social, language and literacy development in early childhood settings (2nd ed.). Toronto: The Hanen Centre.

Vallotton, C. & Ayoub, C. (2011). Use your words: The role of language in the development of toddler’s self-regulation. Early Child Research Quarterly, 26, 169-181.

This content is from Hanen.org 

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